It’s a good thing I caught you. The Mets waited all offseason to make a trade, then they made one Monday. And it was for a lefty reliever they so desperately need. Then they traded for another one. And the Mets are not done stockpiling the southpaws. Using my connections with the team, I got the lead on the next lefty the Mets will acquire.
Let me tell you about lefties. I used to wish I was left-handed and actually taught myself to bat lefty by throwing a ball up and hitting it in my yard. Every. Single. Day. Alas, I couldn’t hit a fastball any better from that side, but I could hit a Wiffle ball a long way and never got fooled on the breaking ball. Except when I did. My son is a lefty. True story. But I digress.
According to my source, today’s new Mets lefty is named Willis. No, not Willis from Diff’rent Strokes. This is Walter B. Willis. I think the middle name stands for Bruno. This guy can bring it. Here is a short clip of him in action.
And this same source tells me to expect another lefty on Thursday. Throws left, bats right. His name is Gordon Matthew Thomas. Kind of a long name, but I think he has a nickname. He’s a veteran, been around so long I saw him play at Shea Stadium once. Of course there’s film of it. Before he made it as a southpaw, he used to serve in the Police.
And the best tip of all I got was that on Friday there’s a waiver deal with Detroit for this guy named Marshall Bruce Mathers III. I know you should avoid getting relief pitchers from the Tigers, but this guy is the real deal. Though he does talk too much and he has this thing about M&Ms….